December 7th again

I felt the need to write again, it kinda sucks you know when you have to sit here and suck up the pain, I swear my stomachs growling so loud that i can wake the dead ! lol ! theres nothing that will work for the cramps except food which I can't do that or I'll binge to high heaven! You guys might think this is gross but I chew and spit, it helps the craving ! except I feel bad cause I waste food =( No one knows I have this problem none of my friends my family, except the people who have the same problem as I do, I'm glad I have them cause they help me and push me to my limits ! People who read this probably think I'm crazy but I don't care it's my problem, I hate my body I'm over weight and no one likes the fat chick ! They love the skinny beautiful girls ! When do you ever see a fat woman get that super amazing hot guy? VERY RARELY I mean I was dating an extreamly sexy guy but it didn't work out see.... I bet if I was smaller I'd still be with him.... plus I was just dumped idk why but he told me this I prefer you a little thiner AND he KNEW I had an eating disorder.... Fucked up huh! yeah but he never saw anything wrong with sayin that to me Yet he doesn't know I went home and cried ! But he dumped me and left for kentucky the next day, wow makes me feel awesome. I just wanna find that guy who will make me incrediably happy no matter what happens and for him to know that I have a ED anyways I'll see you guys later Love Kayley♥