Bali Indonesia

So I watched the movie eat pray love. It was so movieng I loved it ! it's encoraged me to move to Bali indonesia  such a beautiful place to be and I wanna move there to live in peice to not care about my surroundings. The beaches the sand to meditate everyday to just be in peace with my inner self such an inperational movie to get out of the US ! it's also inpired me to become super skinny for when i move there i wanna be a thin as possiable to look beautiful when I lay on the beach to have a beautiful tan this is my motivation too loose all my weight !

Day 1 Of My Fast

Okay so today was my first day of my fast! It went amazing I haven't had anything to eat all day ! I wen't home from school during lunch so i wouldn't eat and I'm glad I did go home ! thank god or I would have binged to high heaven !! So I was in my crafts class today and I was told that if you put a table spoon of cinimon in your mouth long enough it'll make you throw up ! I saw a video Wow Maybe that might help me out When I binge ! i thought that was so fasinating but also weird! So my dad left yesterday for a week to go to arkansas ! ugh so lonely at the house !!! I met up with this guy I liked arron he came over and we hung out til like 1 in the morning it was so fun !!! omg I can't wait to see him tonight again!! Love kayley ♥

relaspe I FUCKIN HATE YOU

Ugh I relapsed into eating all over again I've gained a shit load. My stomach hurts so much cause of all the food. It feels stretched to it's limits and it's kiliin me the pain!! I hate this and all this pain. I hate the christmas time ! I"ma start my new fast tomorrow ! NO EATING for as long as I can go ! So my mom was bein such a complete bitch I decdie to spend my fuckin christmas break with her and she acts like nothing but a bitch I mean seriously it's a long ways from my friends and she treats me like shit !wow talk about fucked up maybe next year I just won't come down here next year!

So last night I had an amazing convo with this guy I really like ( me and Josh my fiance aren't doin so well ) well he told me he loved me and told me all these sweet things he's like " I'm not good and telling my emotions and all that stuff" he was like why do you love me Kayley I said " because i like you and stuff" lol I
was makin fun of him !  when I said I doubt you love me he said Kayley I love you  he never says my name unless he's serious about what he's sayin! He made my night. But what sucks is I live in Kansas he lives in Indiana ugh But I think this summer we're gonna meet half way some where and I'm so excited to see him ! He truely makes me smile !

Well I have to go to the doctors tomorrow. I have to get my thyroid looked at which means thier gonna draw blood OMG I'ma freak out and cry ! ugh flash backs from last wednesday getting my IV for my wisdom teeth. Well If I have  a problem there gonna have me put on medication which will make me loose alot of weight and now my hair will grow back it was falling out ! and I have to get my Birth control shot which I'm not even trippin over ! Oh tomorrow os gonna be crazy !

Saturday I'm finnaly going back home to my dads I'm so excited I miss my daddy I haven't seen him sense ;ast wednesday ! I miss him ! I"m tired of bein at my moms ! Oh and I finally got my new vehicle Which I'm so excited to get YAY !!! So I think when I get back home after my dad leaves again on his work trip i'ma get my eye brow pierced !!! I think it'll look good on me ! Yes? well I think so !!!

Damn My heart pouding right now I took my last two hydrocodon and I"m feelin pretty good ! I smoked a lil green today had a lil vodka with juice and a diet pepsi ! and a fruit snack pack yummy !

Recent as of now knews when I get home I"ma go see my babe I'm so excited I'ma spend my whole 5 days of vacation I have left with him YAY I haven't met him before so it'll be the first time and he tells me I'm gorgeous all the time which I love and he doesn't care about my weight he likes me for me. I said to him I realy hope you like me when you see me   he said he doesn't care about my body he loves me for me and it doesn't change anything God he means the world to me and I hope I never loose him. He's gone through so much with me and I can't loose him he understands everything I say and what I"m going through !

Anyways I'ma get off here dang my longest post lol anyways LOVE Kayley ♥

the drugs the drugs oh my the damn drugs

Why is it that I have to go towards drugs just to feel good Man I need some help?
 well no I don't want help I love my life the way I am drugs and alcohol and ANA and everything cause I"m awesome the way I am right? I don't care smoke a bowl relax and watch me as I destroy myself! I love TO FUCKIN PARTY TO GET HIGH ! And not know what the fuck is going on just so I feel better ! Wow it's incrediable right ! SO what it's just a lil pot and some pills with vodka beer yegemister  UV whiskey and some Yay ! That's the life right ! I have to be high every second of the day just to cope with the fact that my life fuckin sucks I party and look like I'm havin fun so people don't really know what happening! I do drugs yes I do drugs Oh well
Love Kayley ♥

Wisdom ugh

Wow today was a very interesting day I went and got my wisdom teeth removed that was crazy. I cried when they were starting an IV and I was like I need my dad !!! He held my hand through all the IV's and everything til I was asleep ! I love my daddy ! I woke up an hour later and went and got my prescription for hydro's ! Then I was off to my moms house for christmas break !!! It's been fun I love my mom too !!!!.

Full body High

Wow Full body highs are fuckin' amazing I feel so fantastic !!! I hate the addiction but I don't mind  whatever to feel good right? Well I don't care what people say call me a pill popper yes I abuse pills oh well sorry for tryin to feel better I also smoke gods plant mary jane !!! I don't fuckin care !!! Sue me !

THINSPO!!!

Unity Bracelet

Hey guys last night I made myself a awareness bracelet it's addoriable ! I love making them and I am willing to sell them for 6 dollars ! plus shipping comment on here or email me and I will give you the information on how to get yours Love Kayley ♥
email: Gangstak567@gmail.com